insanely hot video.

in other news.
twenty years. no men.
almost as repressed as
an ordinary man… or so
i guess… when any *particular*
man is at hand. one “rates”
women… and, gee, it’d be
an honor even at this late date
to fuck any particular one *of* ‘em….

and one no doubt has been rated right back.

“please spank me really really hard
until i beg get fucked and then beat me
beat me harder faster until i don’t know
my own name and know only that i *want*
you you beat me and suddenly OW! up the
ass and fuck me fuck me fuck me thank you
for smacking me so good and hard and
AHHHH!… nails on nipples… AHHH!…
my red-hot butt.”

oh please let me blow you oh choke me choke me
pain pain pain yes oh thank you more your
big growing godlike dick yes yes more pain
forever let it be forever

http://glowinside.wordpress.com/

http://allforher.wordpress.com/

http://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/

http://ladyemmalyn.wordpress.com/

point being: i can comment in ‘em
when logged into wp as “spadlin”
without revealing my other ID’s
(at once; i expect any well-informed
computer-head could find ‘em out
pretty easily if they had a reason).

i’d set up a “blogger” account for
my spanko activity but they want
another phone number (or did when
last i checked) and this is just
too much damn trouble. fuck gooogle.

my very brief researches indicate
that the wp blogs tend to be,
um, wordier than the blogger stuff.

goddess and i do mostly vanilla
and of course i love it… sex
is the *only* good thing from one
perverctly reasonable point of view…

last night i went down on her: the main event.
i was “put on this earth to eat pussy” as we two
notice aloud from time to time.

i haven’t had a man… i suppose i mean
i haven’t been had *by* a man… in almost
20 years. and goddess can (and does) go
way down and stay down and i can just flail
around and fuck the living b’jeezus out of
her face and upper digestive tract as i grope
lovingly on her butt; sure. so i’m as straight
as the next guy for all that.

and as i started to say. a couple nights ago
we went for the old in=out. as we seldom do.
and it was. um. vision-inducingly, cosmos-
-shakingly, great.

lucky for us i’d beaten off three or four times
that day looking at spanko stuff… and tranny
stuff and some good old-fashioned cocksucking
[and whatnot])… online.

usually… even with a rubber…
it feels so *goddamn* good
when i get my dick up her
goddess pussy, i just cum
right away.

in fact, the rubber sometimes
makes it worse in the sense that
i’ve gotta get myself *real* worked up
to have the confidence to interrupt the
fuck-fest mood and play with the high-tech
right up against my confidence *meter*
and finally turn around and jam it
*in* her (and start to get hard again);
a second later, usually, bam! wow. goodnight.

anyhow. no domme/sub stuff in many months.
and indeed, more and more on the net i find
i’m looking for beautiful dicks and
guys-eager-to-get-fucked-like-girls
and whatnot (though heaven knows:
a shot where the top has a belt
or hairbrush or what have you can
send me right out to the oozing-cum
fuck-me-now-i-don’t-care-how-hard stage
in a fraction of a second sometimes).

oh hell. maybe tonight. that wooden spoon.
honey! please! ow! OW! aaaahhhh! aanaanahh,h,AAAAH!

… oh thank you goddess for taking such good care of me…

in what vile part of this anatomy
doth my name lodge?

sez romeo. i love this video.
milo o’shea stars as the friar
in zefferelli’s immortal…
okay, i admit it’s really about
the astonishingly beautiful
olivia hussy or maybe about
rebecca anne who already
in junior high had become
a sexually active (and well-
developed) young woman
while i was alas a very very
horny boy… and this movie
was current though i never
saw it back then… and she
wasn’t the only one i drove
myself nuts about while i
lay around naked playing with
my dick in particular and
my whole skin generally.
let’s not get into the asshole stuff
or the _playboy_ magazines.

maybe i’ll ask goddess for a can’t-help-screaming beating tonight.
i know just how to do it, too… i’ll tease her for half an hour or so
with my face and hands right up near orgasm but always pulling back
just before the last second… and say not a word…

and when she’s literally begging for it, i’ll remind her
of my need for punishment and of the sexual hotness
we’ve experienced together when she’s loved me for
wanting to take such a horrible beating…

anything… *anything*!… if it proves my desire.
and if it *prolongs* my desire.

because if, god forbid, i cum. pure pain
and no horniness at all.

but i lie of course. because right away
it begins again. it’s that old will-to-live
versus hopelessness-and-despair thing.

i’m gonna go look at some porno
up here on the internet and stuff
while i… well… *you* know what.
and i’m not lonely at all.

still feeling the booze of last night.
and of course there’s some goddess-related
guilt-trip around me being in the
“juan spadlin” frame of mind at all
and alas she (who must be manipulated)
has a stated dislike for the whole
righteous-chastisement “FLR” part
of spanko kinkdom: “i’m not your mother”.

love love love. gotta pee.

ever drank it from the tap?
i have, but only a few times.
my first lover. goddess.
i forget who else.

so i haven’t had any spanko action for,
i guess, a few months. and of course
i’m okay with it. we *do* love each other
and i’m about as content with the situation
as i’ve ever been, day-to-day and
year-to-year. we do a lot of oral
and it’s amazing. still i’d love to
get beaten to tears and assfucked
good and hard.

thank g-d for internet porn.

and a few days later on the bed
with no warmup at all just SLASH
right across the butt with the crop
again your favorite now i’m sure
thank you thank you for using it
i picked it just for you and
nobody takes better care of me
or ever did or ever could and
AAAAAH! and you standing there
strong and stable on the bed side
and when i’m just about humbled
walking around to the other side
to even things out and i know
i’m really in trouble. i love you
so much honey. thank you again
and again.